blockade_boy

The Seven Habits Of Highly Defective Zombies

2009-11-10T03:58:52Z

As for panel four... don't worry, Rorik; I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

In other news, HOLY CRAP A FAN TRANSLATED THE STRIPS INTO FRENCH. Credit goes to the impressive labors of Facebook pal Yannick Laisne, who asked me for permission first, and I of course said "Hells yeah" or something equally eloquent.

Gol DANG, but this makes me feel proud. And oddly humble. But mostly, grateful!

Floral Thermometer

2009-11-02T15:15:25Z

And then Dill tells Rorik something truly disturbing.

Yes, Rorik is going to find himself a full-time, permanent job. I just can't tell you what it is yet, for fear of spoiling a punchline two weeks from now.

I've wanted Rorik to have a job pretty much since I started the strip, but I could never decide what his occupation should be. So he wound up being a "stay-at-home bad-ass." With the economic downturn, I figured it made no sense for Dill to be able to support both himself and a boyfriend (with an appetite of mythical proportions, no less) on just his earnings. Especially since Dill likes to do everything on a grand scale!

I do worry about the strip losing its focus. For instance, the supporting characters haven't had much to do in the last several months. But fear not! Once I get Rorik's work situation established, I can get back to them. And the strip will not turn into a workplace comedy. Although Rorik's job has inspired a ton of new strip ideas, they all center on Rorik and not on any new coworker characters I will have to create.

Finally, I had to do a little bit of rewriting on this strip. But I'm glad I did since it added another joke. Originally, Rorik was going to consent to a job search just to be nice to Dill, and it made Dill seem like he was being unreasonable. So, I came up with a way for Rorik to volunteer.

The Meta Men

2009-10-27T03:44:11Z

In the "plus column", Rorik looks damned good in a tight t-shirt.

I had no plans to reference "Blockade Boy" -- either my old blog or the character himself -- in "Viking Zombie Boyfriend." I rejected the whole notion of it as too "inside", too cutely self-referential and gimmicky. Then, over on LiveJournal, old blogging pal and incurable gadfly MaGnUs suggested, variously, that I insert him into the strip AND that I dress Rorik up as Blockade Boy. And I instantly thought up the script for this week's comic. I think I solved the problem of how to incorporate both of those ideas while making the strip accessible to everybody else besides MaGnUs and me. And the readers of MaGnUs' blog, of course.

Boyfriends Don't Let Boyfriends Climb Drunk

2009-10-20T05:49:37Z

It's looking like Dill may have overdone it with the watermelon martinis. Yes, nerves are wearing thin in the deer stand as the strip starts to sound like a (sligtly) more homoerotic version of an Edward Albee play. I have a friend who says she enjoys the VZB strips with "marital strife." She should LOVE this week's comic! ...At least until she gets to panel four, where they start wrestling.

I set a challenge for myself with this week's strip: coloring to suggest moonlight. I didn't want to go for realism in the coloring for Dill and Rorik -- I wanted to do the comic book thing of coloring people all in blues to symbolize they were in the moonlight. I thought it would be fun. I don't know how well it turned out. Dill in particular came out looking like a refugee from Disney's Haunted Mansion. But I think my readers will get the general idea.

Tenderfoot

2009-10-13T08:44:43Z

Give Dill lemons and he'll turn them into lemonade. Pink lemonade.

That first panel finally affords my readers a look at just how long that scarf on Dill's hat really is. Cute, am I right? Also "wildly impractical", but this is Dill we're talking about.

This week's strip necessitated a good deal of research, since I've never bowhunted in my life. I was familiar with the concept of the deer stand, but until this week I had no idea about how goddamned tall they could be. Rorik's stand is based on a photo of a real one -- I'm only depicting the upper half of it -- and it's not even close to the tallest I saw! Some of them resemble richly-appointed water towers.

We get a glimpse of Rorik's very modern bow in the 2nd panel, also based on photo reference. The quiver, as it turns out, is attached to the bow! That's the style nowadays. Handy!

There was one thing that I couldn't figure out with my (admittedly limited) research, however... My original conception of the first panel was going to show both Dill and Rorik scaling that ladder. But I didn't know how Rorik was going to get his bow up there. I pictured him slinging it over his shoulder or maybe strapping it to his back. "What would Green Arrow do?" I asked myself. Because I'm a nerd. I never found any pictures of bowhunters carrying their bows around in anything except their hands. My ultimate solution: Rorik is already inside the deer stand when Dill climbs the ladder. Voila! Avoidance! At work, I overheard a carpet rep talking about hunting, so I asked him if he knew how bowhunters get their bows into their stands. He said they use a rope-and-pulley system to raise it into the stand. That made sense with the way I drew it. Rorik would have headed into the stand first, and instructed Dill on how to help him raise the bow up into the stand. Also... I don't know that you can tell from my illustration, but Dill is climbing towards the bottom of the stand, not the side. The ladder crosses from the outside edge into the center.

Now, about Rorik's modern hunting gear... I suppose some folks will say that it's out of character for Dill to use it. He's an old-timey Viking! I say, that's exactly why he'd use the latest gear! Hunting is one of Rorik's passions, and he appreciates the improvement in technology, especially since he's spent most of his waking life hunting without it. It's like Patton Oswalt's routine about his "Whole Foods" friends who insist his pregnant wife have a "home birth" just like the settlers did. Oswalt suggests that the home-birthing settlers dreamed about giving birth in a hospital, with doctors and anesthesia ("Needles filled with magic liquid that made the pain not happen!"). In a nutshell, ancient hunting methods are not something Rorik is sentimental about, because he experienced firsthand just how grueling and comparatively unreliable they are.

Next week: the exciting conclusion of Rorik and Dill's bowhunting excursion!

Bow Brummel

2009-10-06T05:00:53Z

Just reserve judgement until you've seen his other accessories.

If Dill was a bow-and-arrow-using superhero, this is what he would wear. Of course, he'd probably come up with the costume first and then start taking archery lessons...

The Queer Hunter

2009-09-29T04:56:02Z

Of course, Dill wouldn't have objected to plan "A".

This kicks off a series of four strips about Rorik & Dill's bowhunting excursion. After that, there's a strip about a Halloween party, and then we'll see how Rorik goes about snagging a full-time job!

New To You (If You Don't Live in Kansas)

2009-09-21T13:34:41Z

Undead Vikings make for the harshest film critics.

This strip originally appeared in "Liberty Press", the monthly Kansas newspaper for the LGBT community. I had always planned on putting it online, in color, and it was handy to have around. Although the next month's worth of strips are already dialogued, I wasted a lot of time trying to work out a different strip for this week. And I finally gave up on it. It had Rorik busking, and getting lectured on his skimpy attire by a tight-panted police officer straight out of bullneck's photo album. But ultimately, I couldn't figure out a way for it to work without it being needlessly insulting to policemen. (The whole point of it was the officer was a hypocrite, showboating his body while he sermonized on decency. The final two panels had him bent over, his ass waggling furiously, as he searched for a pen he had "accidentally" dropped.) I tried changing the character to a security guard or to a guy who just dressed up as a police officer, but then it didn't make any sense. Ugh.

Fun fact: Rorik's dialogue in the first five panels are a word-for-word transcription of my reaction to a similar entry in this genre. Hey, I need my bear porn to have high production values! Is that so wrong?

Malaprop Department

2009-09-15T06:16:20Z

Well, that's what happens when all you know is opera and drinking songs.

Last week I introduced a new item for Rorik: his historically-accurate Viking fanny pack. Because he needs someplace to put all the money he earns. Also, you may have noticed that he has been persuaded to wear pants. (Probably by a police officer.)

When The Fuck Am I Gonna Stop Taking Pictures Of My Own Goddamn Face?!

2009-09-14T13:38:33Z

That would be never, apparently.

Consider Yourself At Homo

2009-09-07T21:16:25Z

Rorik is an artful codger!

Like last week's strip, I wound up doing a ton of rewriting on this one. I had the last panel figured out, but it took no small effort on my part to find a graceful way for the dialogue to lead up to it. Dill's gushing over Rorik's haul was initially WAY over the top; it was rambling, clumsily phrased, and generally made it sound like Dill was on crack. An alternate scenario had Dill driving Rorik to his busking spot, and Rorik sending him back to the car to fetch his sign -- which Dill somehow had never seen before. It didn't make a lot of sense. Anyway, I think it turned out okay.

Next week: Rorik busks his undead heart out!

Paul Groves: Bullnecked Tenor

2009-09-03T13:31:59Z

The guy built like a Bruce Timm character is tenor Paul Groves. I think he's a good tenor -- from what the experts say, his voice is supposedly kind of weak compared to some others, but he knows how to work around his limitations. Anyway, when I saw the DVD of this production of Don Giovanni (starring my favorite bear-itone, Bryn Terfel), I was blown away by the strangeness and beauty of Grove's body. The combination of that trunk-like neck and those slim, shapely calves is kind of stunning, not to mention sexy as all hell.

blockade_boy @ 2009-09-01T23:10:00

2009-09-02T04:14:22Z

Today's lesson: never let the cat sit on my lap while I'm watching a horror movie. Or if I do let her do that, don't suddenly flinch.

I ought to write that down. I mean, the five-inch-long curving scar on my arm from one of her claws won't always be there to remind me...

All You Vase Are Belong To Us

2009-09-01T04:33:39Z

Pimp cups are for pussies.

I'm trying to work ahead on the strip some... which, ironically, almost made me late with this week's strip! Almost.

I Will Follow Him

2009-08-25T02:31:42Z

But soon, the hunter becomes the hunted. That's what you get for pissing off a Viking zombie, son.

This strip is based on a true story, I have to admit. Maybe a month ago or so, I saw these two senior citizen leathermen at a grocery store. ("Bikers?" I don't think so.) These white-whiskered, pierced and tatted old fuckers were in full regalia. I personally have no interest in the leather scene, but I have nothing against it, either. And these guys were so unabashedly themselves, I couldn't help grinning. I felt like, "Good for you, gramps! Fly that freak flag!" They were a little bit ahead of me. I happened to be headed in their direction with my cart. Suddenly, one of them -- without looking back at me, mind you -- does this kind of backwards head-bob thing, like he was indicating my grinning ass. I thought, "Shit! They made me." (I got that police lingo off "The Sopranos.")

The strip just sort of wrote itself from there.

Tiny Packages

2009-08-23T04:26:06Z

This is my idea of my "D&D Tiny Adventures" character over on Facebook. Allow me to tell you about my character... (People love to be told long, intricate stories about other folks' fantasy roleplaying characters, right? I mean, it's only logical...) :p

Anyway, his name is Indigo and he's a half-elf paladin. The preloaded image showed him with a beard, so I figured that gave me license to "bear" his ass up a little. Pay special attention to the one pointy ear and the one pointy eyebrow. I'm so fucking clever, it sickens me. But that's my burden to bear.

I know that Tiny Adventures barely qualifies as a game, but I still like "playing" it. I just wish it had the character dress-up option of YoVille. Really, if it had my druthers, it would have WAY more shopping. Indigo would spend most of his time at a Tolkeinesque galleria, rummaging through bins of half-priced fur cloaks and asking the cute clerk if the Belt of +12 Summoning made his ass look big. And the boss battle would be a pose-off!

Soccer Zombies!

2009-08-20T13:42:43Z

Man alive, did I have some weird dreams last night!

The longest one started out with me leading a meeting as a newly-minted manager in some corporation, in a skyscraper. My supervisor was there. He was a tall, thin guy, with short black hair, glasses, and a scarf. He assured me that I did a fine job. Then I had to follow him somewhere. I don't recall where we were supposed to be going. We walked for a long time. The halls of the building were very wide, and reminiscent of a high school. He went through a set of industrial-type double doors, like you'd see in a gym. I followed him through, and found that the floor was a bit lower on the other side. Some repair work was being done, and evidently nobody was supposed to be using those doors. I said to the person behind me, "Careful, that step is a doozy!" (I never saw or acknowledged that person again.) The lights grew dimmer the further we walked, and we saw less and less people. My supervisor walked very quickly. Several times I lost sight of him, and had to run to catch up. We entered a massive, cavernous area that looked like an indoor version of a quarry. With no barriers, the floor dropped a good twenty feet down, with rough-hewn walls, sketching a smooth-floored pit that resembled a giant swimming pool in a "T" shape. We had to walk down some stairs that had been carved along the side of the pit, in order to reach the bottom. This was another construction area. Laborers were filling in holes in the stairs, using some sort of putty. They had marked the area off with crepe paper streamers, and watched my supervisor and me with annoyance as we stomped right through them. I was annoyed at my supervisor for getting in the way of the men's work. "Goddamn it!" I swore at him. But he was already far ahead of me. At the bottom of the pit, in the shadows, a couple of workers were kicking a soccer ball around. Their eyes glinted a dull gray-green despite the absence of light. My supervisor rounded a corner. I followed. He had vanished. But I could now see that in one of the walls there was a huge opening, at least fifteen feet tall and ten feet wide. Beyond it was darkness. I was filled with dread. I sensed that something in there was waiting for me, and that it would do something horrible to me. Something worse than death. Then, my supervisor emerged from the opening. His skin had been burned to a black, flaking crisp, and his eyes glowed a dull gray-green. He had a soccer ball. With a grin, he shrugged his shoulders and declared, "I love bein' a soccer-playin' zombie!"

In my next dream, I was a character in a video game. Kind of like "Tomb Raider." I was an archeologist. I was a short and scrawny guy, with shaggy black hair and a beaky nose. I received instructions from an older, Santa Claus type of scientist and a buxom, doe-eyed blond young female scientist. I had to enter a vaguely Aztec temple and decipher its secrets. It was dark. In one room, I was attacked by a mummy. I picked up a treasure to bash its head in with, but suddenly it gave a wail and cowered before a certain statue. Its one weakness! I escaped but was followed by an enormous white snake monster. A trap door led me down a chute/waterslide. The snake followed, at a distance, suspensefully. At the bottom of the slide, I emerged from the temple. The two other scientists revealed that I had passed a ritual test, and that the three of us were, in reality, vaguely Aztec gods! There was a colorful, anime-style transformation sequence. I was annoyed that the iconography looked more Pacific Northwest than Central American. As a bonus, I became extremely muscular. I was very glad of that, because I could keep exercising, but I already looked pretty good. (Apparently, I had immediately forgotten about being a god, or else I was a type of god who needed to exercise to maintain his physique.)

The final dream was a short one. I had a new cat, a blue one, and I played with it. Nothing too exciting, but it was fun.

Sex By Misadventure

2009-08-17T14:08:06Z

Cyclopean "party boy" Shelley DeLugg may get drunk off his ass and run around without any pants on, but one thing he'll never do is curse.

Viking Zombie Birthday!

2009-08-11T03:43:55Z

It's always awkward when you find your immortal Viking boyfriend giving his old, unwashed boxer shorts to a vampire ghost. Am I right, people? Who's with me? *cricket noises*

This is the one-year mark for my webcomic. *waits for applause to die down* In a desperate, flailing attempt to build my audience, I've started doing the strips in color! Sure, why the hell not? People love color! Why, just look at the color trend in the moving pictures, or "flickers" as I used to call them when I was a lad.

I also need to really get going on the replacement t-shirt designs, as I've sold exactly none of the old ones since I opened my Cafepress store last spring. I can't really afford to do anything else right now on the merchandise front. I dunno. Maybe I could whittle some bobbleheads out of soap or somethin'.

But I will find a way to turn this labor of love of mine into a profitable enterprise! I shall! *pounds fist on table, vehemently, breaks hand, blinks away tears*

For realsies!

Oh, and Dill's original turn of phrase in panel four was "pee-stained, fart-infused, cum-spattered" instead of "filthy, reeking" but the former version took up too much space.

God, I wish I could have left that in...

Scandal-navian

2009-08-04T03:56:40Z

Rorik's the kind of performer who always gives a little extra. (And then he pulls his cock out and waggles it around.)

And so ends the "Rorik: Superstar" storyline! Not that it's the end of Rorik's attempts at performing. Aw, hells naw. I've got a couple of strips in the "bullpen" that revolve around him finding another outlet for his talents.

By the way, I was terrified to draw this one, since I haven't had much practice at depicting cars. Photo reference helped. I think it turned out pretty well, even if I suck at doing manga-esque "speed lines." I was going to use a ruler and draw a shitload more of them per panel, but I figured it didn't go with my scribbly style.

Next week: Alexandru the Vampire Ghost Twink returns!

Featuring Telly Monster As Freddy Rumsen

2009-08-03T13:25:43Z

Over at Jezebel, they have an article with casting suggestions for the upcoming Sesame Street "Mad Men" parody skit. I gotta say, they make a lot of sense. Especially for the Pete Campbell part!

The Gag That Launched At Least Eight Strips

2009-07-28T03:10:41Z

New Viking Zombie Boyfriend!

This was a fun one to write, for a lot of reasons. You may notice that panel five is a callback to the fifth panel of my 2/23/09 strip (scroll down for it). So this strip is a karmic payback for Rorik -- or at least it would be, if Rorik wasn't, well, Rorik.

Creatively, I tend to work backwords from a conclusion. So when I had an idea for Rorik fucking up a stage performance, it didn't take me long to dream up all sorts of gags to get him to that point. There's an epilogue strip next week. After that, I'll probably go back to some more one-off strips for awhile instead of this serialized stuff. Maybe. I may move ahead with an earlier idea that involves Rorik getting a regular 9-5 job. That would take up three or more strips in a row right there. And anyway, it just makes sense that they could use the extra income, especially in this economy. As for other gags, we'll see Rorik take Dill bowhunting, and they'll both do more couchside movie reviews (NOT operas). Rorik still loves opera, and I'm sure I'll touch on that some more, but I want to explore some other areas for awhile.

Apparently Reality Is Sort Of A Jammie Dodger

2009-07-27T14:52:00Z

This cartoon made me bust a gut, especially as I know some people who turn the relation of any kind of news into a game of "Chinese telephone", proving they weren't really paying attention when they heard it.

America's Next Top Sassy Hat Model

2009-07-26T13:58:50Z

That's my wonderful boyfriend Chris, in a photo he sent me while on his (current) vacation to Branson and Silver Dollar City. I wish I could be with him, darn it! If for nothing else, then for the hat modeling.

The Naked Jape

2009-07-20T13:48:59Z

We're getting closer and closer to Rorik's stage debut! Next week we'll see how he does when faced with a crowd of raucous, demanding bears, wolves, otters, chasers, and other assorted gays.

But first, he has to picture them naked.